Acclimated Changes

For days I've contemplated the idea of chronicling my thoughts once again, and for days I've been excited at the prospect. It's an interesting state, though, when one sits down to write, and one's brain is overcome with so many, many thoughts that it's quite difficult to sort through them and present them in a coherent and cohesive manner. I, of course, will try my best.

A number of years ago (and what now, I must confess, feels like an eternity), I was quite the amiable soul, considering many to be my confidantes. Coming from a diverse background, growing up in various places, I always considered myself cultured and experienced. What I failed to realize was that merely speaking multiple languages, merely identifying myself with a rich culture, merely being taught life's lesson, could never replace the power, the effect of living life. After surviving my fair share of experiences, I have crossed the figurative bridge and look upon the other side of the water with intrepid admiration, for these experiences have shaped the person I have become and the person I continue to be. And I now know that this bridge is the first of many, on this journey of life.

Nevertheless, having encountered many figurative demons and angels alike, I've decided to further develop myself - to strive to be the person I envision myself to be, to strive to emulate those whom I have come to admire. In so doing, I hope to better myself and mitigate those qualities I find less than favorable, while elevating those which I consider to be the opposite.

And so, I've decided to embark upon this quest, rejuvenated by a thought-provoking quote I came across yesterday. When asked what someone's favorite part of the day is, he replied, "The moment my head hits the pillow. That's when I close my eyes and decide if I'm the person I meant to be when I got up."

Enthralled upon reading it, I quickly connected the underlying idea of the response to my own desire to ameliorate myself. It caused me to muse on the notion of perception, not only one's perception of others and vice versa, but more importantly, one's perception of oneself. I am constantly wondering if I have developed into the person I would like to be. At such an early point in my life, when many opportunities and life experiences await me, I know that though the conclusion to my musings is negative, I can easily work to change. In the past few days, these thoughts have invaded my non-academic related waking hours (which, I assure you, currently is quite a small number...I'm certain, however, that this does not trivialize them one bit). I'm grateful that this recognition and desire for change has manifested itself in me so intently. I believe it will be quite the test of patience and focus, to see the culmination of my efforts in due time. I hope I'll come to treasure these ruminations in retrospect some odd years in the future, indeed only if I've come to better myself, as I claim I so greatly want. Until then, I suspect I will use this space to chronicle my thoughts and come to conclusions that I otherwise would have difficulty in drawing, sorting through the tumultuous maze of thoughts present in my mind at any given time.