The Identity...Crisis?

As I mentioned in my previous post, I've had, lately, several thoughts course through the maze in my head. Upon added scrutiny, with a tad bit of introspection on the side, I've determined that I'm currently in the midst of an involved process to understand myself, to essentially clarify my identity at its core.

I entered college some five-odd years ago, a naive and uninformed teenager. In retrospect, I suppose this is a common occurrence amongst those in my then situation, and I do not regret my lack of life experience prior to that point. One often hears others describe college as the "best time of one's life;" I'd beg to differ to a certain extent, but one thing I cannot deny is that the experience has truly shaped me in a profound manner. I deviate from this description of college simply because I've come to believe it's founded on the principles of near-superficiality (at times, not always - I agree) and relationships. Now, please do not confuse my intention in the previous statement - I am not discounting the importance of some degree of superficiality in one's life (I'll readily admit I, myself, have a number of guilty pleasures), nor am I claiming to discredit the significant role that relationships play in our day-to-day affairs. What I am stating, however, is my interpretation of the intent behind this often-uttered cliche. I've found that the so-called "best time of one's life," for me, was not due to the number or quality of the relationships I developed and maintained through my experiences; understand that this does not mean that I de-value these relationships - the contrary is true, I've developed lasting friendships with a number of individuals.

My experiences have dictated a continuous change in the philosophy I utilize in living life. This direct shift has been a relatively moderately-paced process, in that after 5.5 years, I've come many steps closer to understanding and appreciating the, to use an already over-used term, "real me." I am nowhere near having a transparent view into the inter-workings of my mind; however, I can readily recount my likes and dislikes, how I perceive others and how I'd like to be perceived, and the significance of being on this journey, so to speak, at this point in my life. I understand now that there exists not an identity crisis so much as an identification process, the subtle difference being that the latter provides the connotation of an evolution that benefits the individual. I look forward to exploring this primitively-developed idea further in the coming months (perhaps years), and I hope that it urges the emergence of, both internally and externally, a more confident and comfortable person.

More to come, as I gather my thoughts, but I've decided to re-embark on the self-discovery/amelioration journey. There are too many things I'd venture to modify in my behaviors, attitudes, and actions - what better way than to create some mode of accountability, however personal it may be.